pinoy big blogger

    and so the situation with bew continues to get complicated…

    just this morning, i recieved 3 text messages from her. all 3 saying that she would be going "away" for a month. and asking us (me & that rhyan guy) to stop communicating with her for a month. no texts, no calls and no emails. for a month. she said she wanted to think about this. she said "gus2 ko lng mg icp at mpag isa." its been quite hard for her, i know. being divided between two people you know you cant just let go. it gets us confused and things get complicated. we all have different reasons to be confused, and for bew, its because of love.

    i know bew still loves me, and i am not saying that because i want to have myself in the spotlight of all of this. i know she loves me even if she doesnt say it, even if she denies it or laughs it off. i know she loves me. i know she loves me because i can feel it in the way she holds my hand, i can feel it in the way she fixes my hair, i can feel it in the way she laughs about the jokes and stories i tell, i can feel it in the smiles she always wear when we are together, i can feel it in the way she picks blackheads off my nose (gross, i know. but i like it when she does it), and i know because i can feel it in the warmth she gives when she’s around. i know she still loves me. i can feel it.

    i can still feel it last night when we’re together.

    i thought that after last night (i dont know, maybe i was wishful thinking), things would still continue to be alright with us, and hopefuly get better from there. well, i thought wrong. things just got, yeah you got it, COMPLICATED. hay..

    but she wants a month off, so a month off i will give her. or atleast try to. i dont know if i can go on for a month of not even trying to text her or call her or email her. dammit, i even cant go on for a day without doing so. but she’s been having a hard time. so i guess i’ll have to try. or maybe limit the text to 5 a day. i dont know. bahala na si batman. i love her too damn much to just stop communicating like that.

    ewan…

    i guess i just have to stick with looking at our pictures together when i miss her so much. when i miss being with her so much. a month is just a month, it passes by quickly. and i hope that this situation wont last a month. and hope that she finds what she is looking for and realize what she really wants.

    ..and yes, i hope that it is me.